Handjobs, or “the French handshake” as I favor to contact them, get a pretty poor rap, favor it’s some sort of juvenile act scheduled for horny yet prudish teenagers behind the bleachers in ~ Homecoming. I call BS, and I’m right here to wake up for the knuckle shuffle because I love them — here’s why:


I don’t have actually to obtain naked.

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 Okay, yeah, i love being naked, yet sometimes doing sex stuff while quiet wearing my apparel is pretty practically — particularly if I’m attract a dress and also I simply finished whole Chipotle burrito for lunch. Sure, I’m horny, however I’m no trying to display off the bloat. Plus, let’s be genuine — the whole not being naked thing additionally adds come the discretion of the handie, i m sorry is truly one of my favorite offering points.


They’re the meaning of voluntarily hotness.

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 This more than likely doesn’t sound very an excellent to say, however I’m sort of a handjob pro. Areas I’ve given my boyfriend at the very least a half of a handjob and also haven’t been caught include his parents’ head dock, parking lot outside my work, a Greyhound bus come Detroit… you gain the idea. Girlfriend can’t have full-on sex just anywhere, however handjobs are a bit more discrete and therefore a bit much more portable.


It’s less work than a BJ.

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 Look, i love providing oral sex, i do, however man, if that ain’t some difficult work when your heart isn’t every the means in it (or four tequila shots aren’t every the way in you). Anyone who’s offered a an excellent oral to know the next-day feeling of a life inner lip as a an outcome of responsibly protecting his penis skin from your cheese grater teeth. Through a handjob, at most you’re looking at mild wrist discomfort, however really that’s on girlfriend for no switching increase the style, sister. He thinks you’re obtaining creative, but really you’re strategically preventing giving you yourself carpel tunnel.

You can make it into a game.

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not gonna lie, I certainly do this. It’s favor playing one-sided tug of war. Ns think we all love the ego rise that comes together with manually acquiring someone off, like, “Yeah, I simply did the crap! feeling my mighty sexual prowess! You’re no enhance for this mitts!” but it’s even much more fun once you shot to outdo your own personal bests. Mine? 32 seconds in the handicap restroom of the university library. To win THAT!


There’s a emotion of strength that comes through gripping somebody’s manhood.

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I like to give his junk a slightly uncomfortable squeeze — think the blood pressure device at the pharmacy — simply to repeat him who’s yes, really in charge. The in itself renders up for the imbalance in genital stimulation that comes with giving a handjob. But hey, I acquire off top top power, what have the right to I say?


There’s zero hazard of pregnancy.

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 And friend don’t need to swallow those mouth babies! Honestly, it’s a win all around. Isn’t it simpler to wash your hands 보다 listen to a player describe why prophylactics “ruin the feeling” because that him?


It’s a good way come “try before you buy.” 

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You never recognize what you’re obtaining penis-wise. Let’s confront it — uneven he sends you a sext the his junk, you don’t understand if you’re gonna gain an aubergine or a infant corn. Or a completely satisfying zucchini, i m sorry is perfectly fine for many girls, we swear. Anyway, let’s speak you’re emotion a dude, you start making out and also you recognize you have actually the complete intention that boning this man (we always know). Providing a handjob is like taking a auto out for a check drive. There’s nothing worse than gaining it on and also wondering what her life could’ve been had actually you only well-known beforehand the this dude has actually a whack penis.


It brings earlier nostalgic feelings of freedom and youth. 

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Cue the 1950s radio announcer voice! Remember once life was simple? friend didn’t pay taxes. Friend didn’t have crippling gift anxiety. Her childhood dog was still alive. Yeah, those were the days. Assist you and your man both relive the magic that days unable to do by through a great old fashioned wank off!


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