On tonight's "Jersey Shore", Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, 110 pounds that raging insecurities (and 2 pounds that makeup), takes on Ronnie "One Shot" Magro, 225 pounds the barely-secured rage, and also wins with a surprise shot come the jaw.
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For a if there, it felt we all won. Sure, Ronnie was reduced to a sniveling heap on the couch, yet Ronnie and Sammi to be done! No an ext jealous fits, no an ext hissed recriminations, no more aneuryism-inducing one arguments. Sammi actually had actually her bags packed. Mama Giancola to be on her means from Hazlet. Sadly, twas not supposed to be.
The night did not begin auspiciously because that Ronnie. At Karma, he was dancing and having a good time, ergo we have to be due for a shoot of Sammi staring daggers in ~ him in three ... 2 ... One ... And bingo! Sammi marches end to Ronnie, who’s been talk to a woman at the bar, and also demands to understand who she is. It is his friend Mike’s girlfriend, friend know, the one v the baby, he speak her. Sammi doesn’t believe him. “Want me to lug her over?” Ronnie asks. “She’ll display you her C-section.” This is what Sammi has diminished Ronnie to, providing to prove his faithfulness via one more woman’s scar tissue.
Last week, you recall, Jenni "JWoww" Farley broke up v her boyfriend Tom and also returned home to long Island with Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi to choose up her two dogs. She additionally finds the Tom took her bed, she watch and her tough drive. Cold. She and Snooki attempt to adjust the locks on her front door. This goes and you could expect.
While Snooki and also JWoww are on lengthy Island, Snooki's ideal friend (and vinny Guadagnino's onetime bedmate, much to Snooki's dismay) shows up in ~ the shore home to celebrate she 22nd birthday. "Nicole offered me strictly instructions -- 'Do not have sex with my best friend'," vinny says. "So i really don't understand what to do at this point." That's very sad.
At the club the night, beanie meets Gina … and her family member Nicky ducks … and her Uncle Joe, amongst others. They permit Vinny recognize that Gina’s a pretty girl who’s not going to placed out: “You might be able to cuddle, that’s about it.” “I love cuddling,” vinny says, his voice virtually breaking. “That’s my favorite!” vinny does success in luring Gina home. Ago at the house, that a party: yes sir pizza, to add whipped cream shots and also drunk girls in tight dresses (two an excellent tastes that taste good together). And then yes sir the battle royale imminent upstairs:
Sammi: Don't friend touch anybody.Ronnie: i didn't touch anybody prefer that.Sammi: I witnessed it, friend (bleeping) idiot.Ronnie: ~ above who?Sammi: You.Ronnie: On who did ns touch choose that?Sammi: friend tell me, bro. You (bleeping) did it.
I’m i m really sorry to regurgitate the dialogue prefer this, however Sammi’s circular logic simply kills me. “You never ever loved me,” Sammi speak him. “You hate me.” Ronnie: “Right now, yes i do.” She threatens to leave, and Ronnie has had it. Go, he speak her. Gain the (bleep) out.
When she walk downstairs, he starts tearing through the closet, dumping her apparel into the middle of the room. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino come upstairs. "What have actually I excellent in Jersey? Nothing, and she desires to act prefer this?" Ronnie says. Then he chuckles evilly. When Sammi returns through a part for him, that is not at all appeased. The is quite the opposite. "I don't obtain an apology? not a sorry? not a hug or nothing? I get a piece of pizza. Not a (bleeping) protein shake. You bring me pizza, of all things. Really?" What, is Ronnie a Gremlin? friend can't feeding him carbohydrate after midnight?
Ronnie points out that he’s began to aid Sammi pack. “I’m ~ above a different level together you ideal now.” The instance helpfully points out to Sammi that Ronnie just kicked her out of their room. Ronnie chuckles part more.
Sammi is crying, and also Ronnie pounds his fist at her. (Dude. Keep it together. You're under indictment.) "Cry all you want. Your tears room nothing come me."
Downstairs, vinny is cuddling on a lounger with Gina, blood kin that Nicky Ducks, once her family shows approximately take she home. Vinny: “What is this, ‘Romeo and Juliet’? The Capulets and the (bleeping) whatever?” The situation invites his girl to acquire a little more comfortable. That leaves Pauly D’s girl (actually, it appears he has disowned her) a tiny bereft, so she make the efforts to gain in ~ above the action. Vinny says it’s time to sound the horn. That would be the grenade horn. Nice. At some point Pauly D’s girl walk home, despite The situation does do a half-hearted attempt to tempt her right into a menage a trois.
Ronnie comes downstairs and also curls up on the couch, and also JWoww make the efforts to comfort him. “I want to it is in happy with her, Jen,” he states plaintively, and starts crying. “Listen, ns know. You and me space in the same boat because we have guilt. You remained with her the end of guilt since you wanted to prove that you’re a an excellent guy, yet at the end of the day, you are a an excellent guy.” (Revisionist history?) “That’s all the matters, and also you deserve to be happy,” she speak him.
JWoww then apologizes to him for marketing him out to Sammi, yet says the Sammi had been begging because that them come tel she the truth about Ronnie's extracurricular antics. Climate she engages in some pretty intense spinning: "We told her the truth for she to leave you to be yourself." Ronnie must be permitted to monitor his bliss, also if that means engaging in sloppy three means kisses and hitting on fat girls. Especially if that's what it means. "I didn't understand she'd upper and lower reversal the script," JWoww speak him. "I believed she'd leave … Sammi will certainly just bring you down and also down because she think at the finish of the job you deserve it."
The Situation, because The situation can't leaving a case alone, goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie's alongside table and lets it on slide to Sammi the Ronnie is talking to JWoww. Sammi all yet leaps out of bed and storms out to the porch, whereby she sees Ronnie and also JWoww talk below. "Are you friends v her? let me know now. Room you? room you friends through her?" she screeches, just as Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio and also the remainder of the gang are bringing out Ryder's birthday cake. Ronnie refuses to interact with Sammi, for this reason she come downstairs. She needs again to understand if he's friends v JWoww, and Ronnie tells her he doesn't want to talk to her. "This is my last time trying. Are you friends v her?" when he doesn't answer, she punches him in the chin and also storms inside.
Sammi call her mother to ask her to pick her up and also then go upstairs to pack. Practically everyone else goes as much as the bedroom to try to convince Sam to stay. “This is God telling me come go,” Sammi says. “No, this is no God,” beanie says. “God isn’t your ego.” Ha!
The situation (who wake up to be wearing the ugliest trousers I’ve ever before seen, emblazoned v flames and also serpents and, oh, i don’t know, maybe hedgehogs) do the efforts to comfort Ronnie, who claims he doesn’t recognize why the others room trying to obtain Sammi to stay. “If she stays, I’m simply going to do her life miserable.”
That might be true, yet as vinny tells Sammi, “You need sucky points in life to make you stronger.” If it is the case, Ronnie need to be Hercules.
JWoww is cuddling in bed with new love attention Roger, however one of her dogs is yapping as well much, so she endeavors out to discover the other dog. “I need her come shut the other one up so ns can obtain it in,” she bluntly speak the others. It’s unclear even if it is they do have sex; all us see is among JWoww’s hands langorously outstretched towards the doggie gate. And that is no a euphemism.
A tiny later the night – or an ext accurately, beforehand the following morning – Sammi finds Ronnie and tells him she truly sorry she punched that in the face, but she to be hurt the he got to out come JWoww. “This is my last goodbye to you” – promises, promises! – “You can say whatever you want.” and also Ronnie gets up and also walks away.
Upstairs, he's crying again together he speak to The Situation, however Sammi soon comes up and leans her head versus his shoulder, and then crawls into bed through him. City hall their partnership is like riding a roller coaster: very first you're up, climate you're down, but in the end, all you really want to carry out is litter up. Sammi lastly realizes the she's gift stupid because that hating ~ above JWoww, and also she's disgusted that she fight Ronnie. The music swells. "I've given you lot of of possibilities to change, to make points better, and you have. Deserve to you give me a possibility to make things better?" that nods. Sammi vows to work on she relationshp through everyone in the house, consisting of JWoww. The music fades out over the image of Ronnie and Sammi in bed. Silence. "If you males want me to go below for part makeup sex, let me know," The instance pipes increase from his bed five feet away.
At dinner the next night, Sammi many thanks everyone and also tells castle she's happy to it is in there. Jenni and Roger and Deena Cortese and Dean head the end for a day night. Vinny and also Snooki go to a local adult keep where Snooki buys a stripper pole. "It doesn't come up as a stripper pole on my credit card, right? my dad will certainly be like, 'What the (bleep)?'" No, it'll come up The Love Shack, Snooki. Her dad will certainly be no one the wiser. They return to the house. Stripper pole hijinks ensue.
The men head come the barber shop the next morning, wherein they hear from among the barbers that Dean said him around a specific sexual act Deena offered to perform. It entails her mouth and a certain part of his human body ... Aw, don't do me to speak it. Anyway. In ~ the gym, The case tells Deena that he heard a story about what she likes to execute in bed. She says she think she knows what he’s talking about. “If you favor to execute that, good for you,” he speak her. “Wait, i don’t understand what we’re talk about," she says. Therefore he speak her. She is horrified. “Well, that’s not true, due to the fact that ... It’s no true. My teeth and my mouth is too valuable to me to go under that way.” in ~ Karma the night, she clues Dean and tells the what he did was really uncool. He denies it.
JWoww clues Ronnie and Sammi and also tries to break the ice v Sammi by giving to fetch them drinks. Sammi goes come the bar v her, and after an awkward silence, blurts the end an apology. “I recognize I don’t have any business saying anything, yet I know you were simply looking the end for me. I appreciate that.” JWoww accepts she apology and says, “At the finish of the day, ns was just trying to it is in there because that you.” no she say earlier she was trying to do it for Ron’s sake? “Can us hug that out?” JWoww says. They do, and Sammi says, “Sorry for, friend know, a lot.” I'll accept her apology as well.
Next week, you will certainly be shocked, shocked to learn that Sammi and Ronnie are at each other’s throats again. Oh, and Ronnie it s okay a rectal exam. And also that is not a euphemism.
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