that “More 보다 Brains” university Of Phoenix advertisement Is In The running For Worst ad Of every Time

I don’t desire to talk around other ads girlfriend think are simply as negative or worse. I want to talk about how much I dislike this one. Critical night Gene Demby make me realize ns am no alone in this.

You are watching: Who sings if i only had a brain university of phoenix

There is nothing in the human being I hate much more than that college of Phoenix commercial through "If i Only had actually A Brain." Nothing.

— Gene Demby (
You’ve checked out it, right? castle won’t protect against playing the on Hulu, for this reason I’ve viewed it in ~ this point roughly 30 times. Right here it is, if friend haven’t experienced already: >

My thoughts, in no details order:

– Why is it called “More than Brains”? The whole suggest of the commercial seems to be “You’ve underestimated me in assuming i haven’t brains, when in truth I have actually plenty.” What is the “more than” brains in question? Also, that provides it sound favor the tune it’s riffing on is “More than Words.” Which the isn’t! – the goddamn VOICE. It’s lilting and yet hostile? Syrupy sweet yet fucking poison. It’s the little girl in a fear movie who wants you come come play v her…forever. Who room you mad at? Why space you positing the audience together your enemy? I never ever TOLD YOU that YOU COULDN’T walk TO SCHOOL. WHY are YOU MAD at ME, evil REGINA SPEKTOR? – “Life’s short, speak is cheap, I’ll be working while girlfriend sleep… still don’t think I’ve gained a brain?” that DOESN’T SCAN – nobody OF THESE brand-new LYRICS SCAN – all of the actors store looking smugly and aggressively in ~ the camera and also then smile directly at us, the viewer, that they are presumably trying come recruit, WHILE likewise SUGGESTING that WE room THE people WHO have actually BEEN maintaining THEM under – FOR-PROFIT COLLEGES space PREDATORY and MERCENARY and THEY GOUGE their STUDENTS and also NOW THEY are TRYING come POSE as UNDERDOGS? FUCKING NOPE – One lady is breastfeeding in ~ a diner while additionally clicking ONE key on her computer system with this look on her face like, “Yep, hacked right into the mainframe” and also I resent this scene since I feeling exquisitely played, choose a harp – “I took 2 bullets in the chest” WHAT? WHEREFORE? WHO? WHAT BULLETS? there is just this throwaway line around being shoot in the chest and also then we’re turn off to bragging about she never ever rests, i beg your pardon IS no A great THING – THIS advertising REINFORCES BOOTSTRAPISM – “GOT 3 KIDS, I never ever REST…AND I’VE additionally GOT A BRAIN” DOESN’T SCAN one of two people – “You think a resume’s enough, who’ll action up as soon as things acquire rough, don’t you desire that kind of brain” WHAT type – “A degree is a degree, you’re gonna desire someone choose me…but only if YOU have a brain” WHAT THE FUCK kind OF TAUTOLOGY IS THIS? likewise NO SCANNING – That continuous switch between yodeling and also whisper-spitting makes me feel favor the initial script for this advertising was simply my old roommate who was super into mushrooms informing me I’m sheeple for eight minutes

– Don’t execute this. Don’t ever do this. Why is this step in the commercial? are we claimed to laud this crude oil woman’s dismissive-as-shit “ONE SECOND” finger as somehow a authorize of her persistence and also stick-to-it-iveness? Ma’am, the library is CLOSED. You do not acquire special library hrs just due to the fact that you go to college. This protection guard is act his JOB and also his shift is most likely ending and he desires to go home and also you can’t even use her words to tell the “I’m just wrapping up, thanks”? friend SHUSH him with your FINGER like he’s a child? That’s racist together hell, rude together shit, and also bad for civilization who work-related in libraries everywhere this country.

See more: How To Get To Lincoln Memorial Fallout 3 ? Capitol Wasteland: Head Of State

I hate this commercial. This commercial is the poundcake speech and someone telling a high institution sophomore her outfits room too distracting and predatory loan policies and your uncle who says that if “he have the right to make it, anyone can” and also that’s why food stamps have to be illegal, all in three minutes and capped off with an insult to the good Ray Bolger. Someone please it is registered my main complaint v the bureau of advertising Dislike. Thank you for her time.