What is the difference in between a piano and also a fish?You have the right to tune a piano however you can not tuna fish.

You are watching: Why did the fish get bad grades? because it was below sea level.

Where do fish keep their money?In a river bank.

How does an octopus walk to war?Well armed.

What swims in the sea, carries a maker gun, and also makes girlfriend an offer you can’t refuse?The Codfather.

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Why walk the musical shark sing the blues?He’s obtained no sole.

What go the fish mathematician say?Numbers room in-fin-ite.

What do fish teachers say to your students?I’ve acquired to con-fish-cate your gum.

What’s the perfect fish dad gift?A barbecue gill!

What go the fish say when eels crashed his party?The Moray the merrier!

Why go the fish get bad grades?Because that was listed below sea level.

What sort of shows execute baby fish watch?Car-tunas.

What go the Loch Ness Monster eat?Only fish-n-ships.

What is the difference between a piano and also a fish?You deserve to tune a piano however you can not tuna fish.

Where do fish save their money?In a river bank.

How walk an octopus walk to war?Well armed.

What swims in the sea, tote a an equipment gun, and also makes friend an market you can’t refuse?The Codfather.

What do you gain when girlfriend mix a banker through a an excellent white?A loan shark.

Who hosted the infant octopus for ransom?Squidnappers!

What go the magician say to the fisherman?Pick a cod, any cod!

What do you speak to a fish that has actually two knees?A tunee fish.

How numerous tickles go it take to make an octopus laugh?Tentacles.

How go the seahorse move so quickly?He scalloped.

What type of seafood do they offer in saunas?Steamed mussels.

If fish lived on land, which country would castle live in?Finland.

What do you contact a smelly fish?A stink ray.

What was the name of the fish that destroyed Japan?Codzilla.

Who keeps the ocean clean?Mermaids

Did you understand that sharks can likewise squirt ink?Just Squidding!

Where execute teachers send fish who misbehave?To the offish.

What was the Russia Tsar’s favorite kind of fish?Tsardines!

What walk the shark’s friends call her when she acquired dumped?There space plenty the fish in the sea.

Have you ever before met a embarrassy fish?They are an extremely koi.

Why did the teenage fish obtain in problem in class?Because that was talking on his covering phone.

Why go the fish live at the bottom that the ocean?Because castle dropped the end of school.

Who to be the standout musician in the fish band?The base player.

Why did the cook quit his job at the diner?Because he had bigger fish come fry.

Who was the ideal employee at the balloon factory?The blowfish.

The fish had actually a girlfriend, however he lobster.Then the flounder.

Did friend hear around the chef in that incredibly busy seafood restaurant?He had actually a lox top top his plate.

If you have the right to think of a far better fish pun…Let minnow.

Some world don’t like fish punsBut they are kraken me up.

Where is a fish in orbit?Trouter space.

Why to be the fish given detention?Because he to be being as well shellfish.

Did friend hear about the newlywed shark couple?They are swimming follow me nicely.

That large mouth base got captured by a fisherman.Now the is in a genuine boatload the trouble.

Did friend hear around the illiterate fisherman?He was lost at C.

I don’t always make fish puns.But when I do, I carry out it just for the halibut.

Did you shot out that brand-new seafood restaurant?I’m hooked.

What carry out you tell a fish once it’s overreacting?You need to clam down.

What go the fish say when it ran right into a wall?Dam.

What is created on fish currency?In cod us trust.

Why is seafood healthy?It’s really an excellent for the mussels.

What is the many expensive fish?A goldfish.

What are fish that communicate in organized crime called?Lobsters.

What is a fish’s favorite tv show?Tuna fifty percent Men.

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What is a fish’s favourite song?Never gonna give you up, never gonna let girlfriend drown.

When to be the fish free?Any day barramundi.

What walk the boss say come his employee?Cod i borrow you for 5 minutes?

How carry out you do a fish laugh?Tell a whale the a tale.

Why did the octopus cross the road?To acquire to the various other tide.

What perform fish need to stay healthy?Vitamin Sea.

Why walk the fish walk to Hollywood?He want to it is in a starfish!

Where carry out fish sleep?In water beds.

What fish only swims in ~ night?A starfish!

What execute you speak to a fish in a tuxedo?Very so-fish-ticated.

What do you contact a lazy crayfish?A slobster.

How do shellfish acquire to the hospital?In a clambulance.

Why did the fish blush?Because it witnessed the ocean’s bottom.

Did friend hear around the goldfish who went bankrupt?Now he’s a copper fish.

How did the fish find the World broad Web?In a Net.

What happens as soon as you put Nutella on fish?You get salmonella.

Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen?A fish acquired battered.

Did girlfriend hear around the crab that went to the seafood disco?He pulled a muscle.

What do you speak to a fish the knows addition?An Octoplus.

What’s the ideal fish to speak to when you need a ride?A seahorse.

What party game do fish favor to play?Salmon Says.

What fish goes increase the flow at 100mph?A engine pike!

How might the dolphin afford to buy a house?He prawned everything!

Where carry out female fish store their money when they’re swimming?In one octurpurse.

Where are most fish found?Between the head and also the tail!

Why don’t lobsters ever pay retail?Because they room Sale-fish.

Where perform you discover a down-and-out octopus?On ink row!

What type of fish dram the guitar?Bassist

What do you contact an underwater transformer?Octopus Prime.

What execute you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?A monkfish!

What go the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

Why are goldfish orange?The water makes them rusty!

What component of a fish weighs the most?It’s scales!

What game do fish like playing the most?Name the tuna!

Where perform fish walk to carry out yoga?The river bend

What carry out naked fish play with?Bare-a-cudas!

What kind of fish carry out you ask come screw in a light bulb?An electrical eel.

What occurred to the shark that swallowed a bunch that keys?He gained lockjaw!

Where perform fish take it a bath?In a flow basin!

What perform you obtain if you cross a mathematics teacher with a crab?Snappy answers.

How do fish go into business?They start on a tiny scale!

What do you gain when you cross a mink through an octopus?A coat of arms.

Which day execute fish hate?Fry-day!

What perform you speak to a fish the can offer you a face-lift?A plastic Sturgeon.

What execute you contact an underwater social network?Fishbook.

How walk the maritime mollusk acquire into college?Apparently it gained in on a scallop-ship!

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List of Fish Jokes

What did the fish say when he post bail?I’m off the hook!

Why did Sally walk to the lake after her brothers enraged her?To fish for compliments.

What’s the best way to catch a fish?Have someone litter it at you.

Two fish room in a tank. One states to the other,“Do girlfriend know just how to drive this thing?”

Why don’t fish play basketball?They’re afraid of the net.

What perform you contact a fish through no eyes?A fsh.

Why carry out fish swim in schools?Because lock can’t walk.

What walk the crayfish say to the lobster?Who girlfriend calling a shrimp?

What type of fish room in heaven?Angelfish.

What go the pope eat during lent?Holy mackerel!

Knock hit Who’s there?Fish!Fish who?Bless you.

What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?As much away as possible!

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Word Play/Swap Ideas

As/bass: fish choose to play bass-ketball.

Barfish: he left the party since he was feeling barfish.

Bullocks/Pollocks: bank robber fish have a most pollocks.

Brilliant/Brill-iant: should we swim away from this net? Brill-iant idea!

Certainly/Sardinely: sardinely, sir. I’ll gain right top top that!

Could/Cod: Cod girlfriend please stop making so countless puns?

Coy/Koi: she enjoyed being a tiny koi.

Cuddle/Cuttle: cuddlefish space so affectionate.

Debate/Debait: scholarly fish love debait!

Dive: the fish’s marriage had actually taken a dive.

El/Eel: he take it the eel-a-vator.

Eel/I’ll: Eel watch you after work.

Fan/Fin: he’s a soccer fin-atic.

Fi/Fin: the tuna demands full fin-delity.

Fis/Fish: the river bank demands fish-cal responsibility.

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God/Cod: mine Cod you’re stubborn!

Gil/Gill: that was uncovered gill-ty.

Girl/Gill: she the gill of my dreams!

Had/Haddock: I’ve haddock with this job!

Harp/Carp: he had to harp on him around missing school.

Headache/Haddock: this no worth the haddock.

Hearing/Herring: you’re no herring me!

Hell the It/Halibut: simply thought that check, for the halibut.

Ill/Gill: i hope you acquire over her gillness! are you OK? you looking really gill.

In/Fin: nobody at the college wanted to obtain fin-volved.

It’s Cool/School: school, you have the right to pay me back on Friday.

Meant/Manta: the manta compliment you.

More/Moray: the moray you school, the far better your qualities will be.

Mull It/Mullet: mullet over and get back to me.

My Nose/Minnows: minnows speak me miscellaneous is fishy. Ns just had to stick minnows into their business.

Pacifist/Paci-fish-t: he won’t fight you. He is a paci-fish-t.

Re/Real/Reel: the reel-ality is the puns space hilarious. It’s to be reel fun, however I gotta go fish. Trust me, I’m a reel heritage agent.

Reef: that hung a Christmas reef top top the door.

Sad/Shad: why so shad? don’t be shad, I carried cookies!

School: you have been schooled by my wicked fin-ish!

Selfish/Shellfish: you need to share your great fortune. Don’t be shellfish!

Se/See/Sea: nothing be so sea-nsitive. Why nothing you sea a solution?

Sole/Shoal: the shoals of my shoes space worn out.

Soul/Sole: that song has real sole. Angelfish don’t need to worry around the state of their soles.

Surgeon/Sturgeon: the studied difficult in school and became a brain sturgeon.

Struggle/Flounder: he floundered with this decision.

Someone/Salmon: will certainly salmon please help me! anyone should have salmon distinct in your lives. Produce your very own fish pun, don’t leaving it come salmon else.

Tense/Tench: you look therefore tench.

Thank/Tank: ns tank girlfriend for every your tough work.

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Thing/Fin: tank friend for her concern, but no-fin is bothering me. Some-fin is very fishy about here.